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We tend to copy

the actions of others, such as yawning. We have mirror neurons that help us imitate, learn new skills and be empathetic towards others. The tendency to mimic the actions, including smiles, of others is called the Chameleon effect. These mirror neurons influence the limbic system and how we feel towards others. In other words, our ability to sense how others feel is being influenced; if we can do this (empathize) we are considered to have a good foundation for emotional intelligence. This sense of how others feel is important for life success.

Connecting?

There are various dimensions to connecting. Is your limbo your spiritual hub? This is entirely possible, since spirituality is connected with feelings, impressions, and reacting to things beyond our comprehension. Think about connecting in this dimension.

On a day to day basis how we connect with others is influenced by eye contact (even cartoon characters looking at us from a food package influence), odours (prospective partners are attracted by smell as influenced by the immune system), and feelings. Lack of connection with others leads to loneliness. Rejection has a similar effect on the brain activity as physical pain.

We assimilate when we associate.

The people we associate with influence our behaviour. If we are connected with a group of inward looking, sad people, we will tend to take on their characteristics. Alternatively, positive, creative people will bring out these qualities in us. Happiness in contagious. Happy people have good social connections. The concept that one is loved, esteemed and valued is highly significant to happiness. How do we promote better relationships and more extensive social connections? Some suggestions follow.

Make new friends, the old school way. Showing yourself as friendly (smile) is the first step. Go to events, join clubs, social groups where community orientated, positive people are present. Real friends are needed, not virtual friends as in Facebook who often give a distorted picture of life.

Strengthen your existing relationships. Hoping others will change and communicate more is unlikely to happen often. Our attitude and actions need to change. This may be the only hope of seeing change in others. The secret to success in one of the most important relationships, marriage, is:

a). Love first. Genuine love involves selfless actions and attitudes. The five languages of love are: words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, physical touch, acts of service.

b). Forgive. We all have horror stories about relationships. We must be able to put the past behind us. This involves a conscious decision to move past the idea of my right to hurt you for hurting me. It also involves forgiving yourself for some act in the past that has caused hurt.

Putting it into practice.

a). Love first. Doing something for someone else in your social network to indicate you care is a good first step. Study what aspect of their love language will be likely to be the most productive.

b). Find a friend. Actively seek new friends.

c). Forgive a friend. If forgiveness is needed, just do it. Move into a more positive place.